{"title":"Dammit Dolls","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"the-basketball-doll","title":"The Basketball Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhether your jump shot bricked, your bracket busted, or the refs made another questionable call, the Basketball Dammit Doll is here for the rebound. Dressed in a sporty print packed with basketballs, a net, and court-inspired flair, this doll is perfect for fans, players, and armchair coaches alike. It's the ideal outlet for all your hardwood heartbreaks that won't draw a technical.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSlam it, squeeze it, or toss it across the room when your team drops the ball (literally or figuratively). This doll plays tough and looks great courtside (or couch-side). It makes a great gift for athletes, sports parents, March Madness junkies, and anyone who knows the agony of a missed buzzer-beater. Because sometimes, the best way to handle a loss is to airball your frustration straight into a plush.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584291491942,"sku":"DDL000447","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/Basketball-Doll-Alt_01.jpg?v=1786722616"},{"product_id":"the-pickleball-doll","title":"The Pickleball Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhether you're a seasoned pickleball champ or just got peer-pressured into a league by your neighbor Karen, one truth unites us all: some games end in glory—others in rage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnter the Pickleball Dammit Doll, your new court-side coping mechanism. Designed for players who take their dinks personally and their unforced errors emotionally, this hilarious stress relief doll captures both sides of the game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe front features a pristine pickleball court, complete with bright balls, a hopeful paddle, and that sweet, sweet illusion that this is going to be your match. Flip it over, and reality sets in. The back is pure pickleball carnage: crushed balls, a snapped paddle, spilled water bottles, and one poor visor that clearly met its end mid-rally. There’s even graffiti in the non-volley zone that screams what your partner should’ve heard: “STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSewn into the back is a special pickleball-themed version of the classic Dammit Doll poem, tailored for when your serve barely clears the net and the other team keeps dropping perfect dinks like it’s a conspiracy.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584291524710,"sku":"DDL000742U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/DD-Pickleball-Doll-01.jpg?v=1786722618"},{"product_id":"the-47-doll","title":"The 47 Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhether you're laughing, fuming, or somewhere in between, this stress relief doll is designed to take all the slamming, smacking, and squeezing you can dish out. Handmade with high-quality materials, it’s durable enough to endure your political frustrations, no matter where you stand on the issues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach doll features a hilarious, lighthearted poem, encouraging you to vent your stress in a healthy and comical way. Whether you’re watching a fiery debate, scrolling through endless news updates, or just having a rough day, this doll is ready to absorb all your frustrations with a silly charm. Just grab it, whack it, and let it all out!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 47 Dammit Doll makes a fantastic gag gift for friends, family, or co-workers who love political humor. Whether they’re hardcore fans, staunch critics, or just enjoy a good laugh, this voodoo-style doll is a great way to add some fun to the mix. It's the perfect desk toy, office stress reliever, or quirky home décor piece that’s sure to get people talking.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584291819622,"sku":"DDL000736U","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/DD-Pres47-Doll-01.jpg?v=1786722625"},{"product_id":"the-irs-auditor-doll","title":"The IRS Auditor Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhen tax season has you tearing your hair out, meet your new favorite deductible: the Dammit Doll IRS Auditor. Dressed in stiff business casual and serious glasses, this stress relief toy is ready to absorb every audit-induced scream, squeeze, and slam. Whack it, smack it, or toss it across the room... Just don't itemize your rage! Because when life gives you an audit, give it a dammit!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584291852390,"sku":"DDL000726U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/IRS-Auditor-Alt_01.jpg?v=1786722625"},{"product_id":"the-denim-doll","title":"The Denim Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eCrafted with printed polyester fabric designed to look like denim, this Dammit Doll offers low-stakes destruction with a side of tacky charm. Give it a good whack on your desk, toss it across the room, or squeeze it while muttering things you can’t put in an email. The classic Dammit Doll poem is stitched right on the front, reminding you it’s okay to feel what you feel, and then throw something soft and harmless at a wall.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Denim Dammit Doll makes a hilarious, relatable gift for coworkers, family, friends, or anyone hanging on by a thread. Whether you’re dealing with office drama, laundry mountains, or just another Tuesday, this ridiculous little doll is ready to take a hit so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584291950694,"sku":"DDL000739U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/DD-Denim-Doll-01.jpg?v=1786722626"},{"product_id":"the-money-doll","title":"The Money Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eWork out your financial frustrations with the Money Doll: your plush punching bag covered head-to-toe in crisp, colorful $100 bills. Whether you're wrestling with rent, battling bills, or just trying to make that paycheck stretch a little further, you can get even with this doll, even if you can't get even with your checking balance. It won't break the bank (or your spirit).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlongside its cheeky design, this doll features a funny poem that perfectly captures the rollercoaster of budgeting, saving, and spending. Ideal for anyone juggling finances, hustling hard, or just needing a laugh when their wallet feels light. Toss it, squeeze it, or display it as a tongue-in-cheek reminder that sometimes money troubles call for more than just careful math, they call for a little stress release too.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584292114534,"sku":"DDL000176U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/Money-Doll-Alt_01-new.png?v=1786722624"},{"product_id":"the-jackson-doll","title":"The Jackson Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eUnleash your inner artist -- and your inner rage -- with the Jackson Pollock-inspired Dammit Doll. This bold, expressive version of the classic Dammit Doll is covered in wild, colorful paint splatters that echo the raw energy of abstract expressionism. Every smack, slam, or squeeze is a tiny rebellion against stress, made even more satisfying by the doll's chaotic design that feels like it was born in the middle of a paint-slinging tantrum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're an art lover, a gallery goer, or just someone who appreciates a little color in their coping mechanisms, this doll delivers both aesthetic appeal and therapeutic impact. It's a great gift for creatives, critics, or coworkers having a brush with burnout. Equal parts functional and fabulous, this freaky guy is ready to be your outlet in a world that doesn't always stay inside the lines.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584292048998,"sku":"DDL000728U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/Artist-Jackson_Alt_01.jpg?v=1786722623"},{"product_id":"dammit-cancer","title":"Dammit, Cancer!","description":"\u003cp\u003eCan't handle being sick anymore? Slam your Dammit Cancer doll on the floor. 10% of the sales goes to cancer research and treatment programs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDammit Dolls have brought many of our fans and their families comfort, a smile, and a little hope during their cancer treatments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWe want to give back to the community we all live in.\u003c\/strong\u003e Our mission is simple: 10% of sales of the Dammit Cancer Dolls will benefit cancer treatment and programs and provide a little stress relief for families living with cancer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn 2025, Dammit Cancer Doll profits benefit CHOC Children's Hospital, one of the leading pediatric cancer programs in the country, and the Huntsman Cancer Foundation. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584292147302,"sku":"DDL000158U","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/Dammit-Cancer-Doll.jpg?v=1786722626"},{"product_id":"the-golf-doll","title":"The Golf Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou started the round with hope. A fresh glove, new balls, a swing you “fixed last week.” But by hole 7? You're mentally tossing your 9-iron in the nearest pond. That’s where the Golf Dammit Doll comes in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis stress relief doll is designed for golfers who live for the game, but occasionally (okay, often) want to scream into their golf bag. The front side shows a peaceful green fairway, complete with golf balls, a tidy hole, and a hopeful flag waving in the breeze. The back? Pure carnage. Broken clubs. Crumpled scorecards. Emotional debris.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also features a golf-themed spin on the classic Dammit Doll poem, stitched right on the front for dramatic readings after your third mulligan. Think of it as emotional first aid for anyone who's ever shouted “fore!” and secretly meant it as a cry for help.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584292212838,"sku":"DDL000741U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/DD-Golf-Doll-01.jpg?v=1786722626"},{"product_id":"surprise-me-1-random-doll","title":"Surprise Me! - 1 Random Doll","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhen life gets frustrating, don't bottle it up. Slam it out with a Dammit Doll! These handcrafted stress-relief dolls are made for those moments when you just need to let it all out. Grab your doll, give it a good whack, and yell “Dammit!” Because sometimes, that's exactly what you need.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you have spent the last 2 hours browsing through our way-too-many-to-pick-from dolls, stop wasting your time and let us surprise you. Hate surprises? Well it's time to live a little, DAMMIT!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e*Random Dammit Dolls are truly random—styles vary and may not match the example photos shown.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dammit Dolls","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46584292245606,"sku":"DDL000607U","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0731\/4512\/2918\/files\/Main-Option.jpg?v=1786722626"}],"url":"https:\/\/theyoink.com\/collections\/vendor-dammit-dolls.oembed","provider":"The Yoink","version":"1.0","type":"link"}